I am so scared about posting this because it’s a very raw, honest, personal post, but I want to post it because I want to share my journey with you guys.
This post is going to be my story about how I gained a lot of weight over the years. I am in no way blaming anyone in this post, I am simply telling you guys what contributed to my weight gain so you guys get a little more vision as to how I gained it. I believe this post may be quite long so if you do want to read it, grab yourself a snack and some tea/coffee and enjoy.
Primary School Days:
When I was younger I was at the perfect weight. I was actually a really sporty kind of girl, always participating in school sport events and was just really active. I use to come in the top 4 in cross-country which means I went onto the national school cross-country where I competed with other schools and I was really good at sprinting and hurdles. Sports were my favorite thing about primary school, which if you have met me now, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you.
In grade 5, I was pushed off the play equipment and snapped my femur in half. The femur as you all may know, is the strongest bone in your body. I snapped mine in half.. If you have read my earlier posts from when I started my blog, you may know I have a bone disease called Osteoporosis Imperfecta, which for short is brittle bones. It’s quite easy for me to break my bones which means I have to be careful with what exercise I do. I now have 3 rods/pins in my left leg which actually prevent me from participating in many exercises. I can no longer run as when I do, it feels like my left leg is going to snap again, which I know is just a fear from when I did break my leg. My leg will also ache for weeks after I run, which results in me not being able to walk properly. So I steer clear of that. I can’t lift many weights either, I’m actually not meant to lift over 5 kg according to my doctor, but I do anyway. I’ve injured myself many times in the gym from weight lifting and I’ve also gone into shock twice from being pushed too hard by a personal trainer. (yes I told them about my condition). All of this has put a lot of stress on me going to the gym, which results in me not going at all, which then makes me feel guilty, which then I overeat to dull that guilt. Although it just makes it worse.
I grew up with a family that loves to eat. When I lived with my mum, she would buy 3 massive cartons of different soft drinks/soda and when me and my siblings didn’t drink them, she would use the whole ‘I didn’t spend my money on you just for you to not appreciate it. If you don’t drink them, you can forget about me buying you anything else’, which basically made us drink them in the end. I use to drink 5-6 cans of soft drink a day up until I was 18. Yep. Gross. My mum wasn’t the biggest help either, she has a bottle of Pepsi max with her breakfast every morning, still.
She use to always pile our plates with a lot of potato, meat and hardly any vegetables. (I love potato, just not every night). The cupboards were full of chips, lollies, chocolate bars and maybe 1 or 2 pieces of fruit. Our lunch boxes for school was full of those little chocolate snacks everyday and we also got a soft drink as well. So as you can see, I didn’t grow up with the best foods. But because I was so into sports, I somehow kept my weight healthy at primary school, until I broke my leg.
High School Days:
We all know how high school can be, especially the first year. Because I couldn’t participate in many sports anymore, I started noticing my weight changing. I was putting weight on, not much but enough to make me really self-conscious. My mum still packed our lunches so we got a lunchbox full of chocolate, and because I was now in high school, I felt so embarrassed by it that I use to hand them off to my friends and had nothing the whole day. This went on for most of my high school years. My mum was the type of person that went by the term ‘you get what you get given or you can go without’, so I went without.
Dinners were always the same, plate loaded with potato and meat with little to no vegetables. I did gain a little bit of weight, but it wasn’t that much. The massive weight gain happened when I moved out of home and in with my ex.
After High School:
I moved to the city with my ex which was when my weight gaining started. We lived around the corner from a lot of take out stores and I worked at KFC, which means that’s all I lived off. I basically gave up on myself and didn’t look after myself at all and the weight started coming. When my ex and I broke up, I moved back in with my mum and basically drank every weekend and binged on take out. I didn’t care what I looked like, I didn’t care about my health and that led to me putting on a massive amount of weight. Over the years, the weight kept coming, I started smoking which led to me being out of energy most days, but still, I kept eating shit.
Now, 5 years later, I am at my biggest, I am unhappy, I have no energy and I am done feeling like this and always having to layer my clothes or cover up because I can’t stand the sight of myself. I have tried to go to the gym, I’ve been going since I moved in with my now boyfriend but because gyms put so much pressure on me, I never want to go.
I want to be able to fit into my dream clothes, I want to have a wardrobe with every single piece of clothing I love. I want to be able to look at myself and smile and be happy. I don’t want to feel ashamed in front of my partner anymore. So today, today I am changing that, and with me telling you guys my story and sharing my journey with you, that’s just the first step. I am ready to change myself for the better.
My Current Weight and Goals:
My current weight is 78 kg.
I want to get down to 56 kg by my 26th birthday which is in two years and be fit, healthy and happy. I have now until 2019 to change myself for the better. This is my long-term goals.
My goals for now is to quit the gym (just, listen to why), because if I stay there, I will feel pressure which leads to me not going or becoming unmotivated to even work out. I instead want to start walking everywhere, everyday. Instead of driving, I will walk to my appointments or grocery store. I will walk to the shopping center if I want makeup. I will just basically walk every single day. I will track my walks so I can keep track of the calories I burn and the distance I walked. I will also be writing in a food diary everyday so I can track what I eat throughout the day.
I want to try to lose around 5 kg a week. Walking is the only exercise that doesn’t make my bones ache or leaves me bedridden in pain.
I think those are pretty realistic goals and I know that if I can keep myself in a routine and motivate myself everyday, I will eventually see results and slowly lose weight. Below I will provide a photo of my current weight. I will try to upload a photo of my progress at the end of every month, so you guys can also see my progress as well.
So that is it for this post. I know it’s long and I do apologise, but I just wanted to share everything with you. As I said at the top of this post, I am quite scared of uploading this but I feel a little bit of the stress lifting from my shoulders just by sharing my story with you.
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Are you on a fitness journey?
Until next time,
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